I started journaling at the age of 10. I found it was a good way for me to talk to God. Always full of questions and thoughts. I loved how the words would flow and it helped me sort through so many thoughts.
Journaling also chronicled my journey as a Christian. I grew up as the child of a pastor and I lived my life trying to please my family, the church, and God. I was the poster child of what a “good Christian girl” looked like yet I never measured up in the eyes of my parents or the church leaders; and as a result I thought I didn’t measure up in the eyes of God.
My life hasn’t turned out anything like what I imagined as a little girl that loved to daydream about her future. I supposed it doesn’t happen that way for most people. Yet in my stumbles and falls I discovered a God who loved me more than I realized and I am learning a lesson in grace that I never allowed myself to receive for many years.
This blog isn’t just for Christians. In fact, I hope many read this who have wondered why Christians act they way they do. Why can they be so mean and judgmental? What is so great about God anyway? In addition, I hope that many Christians who do read this will humble themselves and learn that maybe we missed the whole point of the gospel. Reality is, for the “American Christian” we don’t understand what Christ did on the cross and we hang on to self-righteousness in the name of Jesus because it makes us feel better than everyone else. As a result we end up pointing our fingers and condemning everyone around us and we have either forgotten or not understood that it is God’s kindness that leads to repentance; and truly understanding and preaching the truth of His grace doesn’t lead people to more sin but leads them into righteousness.
These are letters I have written to God in the past and now. They are real, honest, thought provoking. I find that often when I am writing God talks back to me through my pen. It’s a very intimate and personal time with my God, who I love more than life. My prayer is that your eyes (and mine) will be opened and our hearts understand His truth, His ways so that we may live free through the Holy Spirit and enjoy the many blessings and power Christ died (and lives now!) for us to have.